My good friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. It was quite aggressive making it necessary to have a double mastectomy right away. After the shock of the news subsided a bit I thought what can I do to help her through this tough time. I live in California and she lives in Arizona making it nearly impossible to be present on a regular basis.
I know she will not ask me for anything. I need to think of things on my own. The chemotherapy will start soon and so will her journey to recovery. I know there are going to be tough times ahead. Friends are so important during this time. I want to be a good friend.
I wasn’t sure what I could send to cheer her up so I tried to think about what the days would be like when she got her chemo.
I came up with this
I don’t even know all the details of the chemo yet (place, time spent getting it, etc.) I do know from others that it can cause her to get cold and she could be sitting at the medical facility for several hours. So I decided to get her a tote bag, cozy lap blanket, some cozy slipper socks, and a number of magazines that she can flip through.
I started to get a little crazy as I wrapped the packages. I was wanting the tags and such to be perfect, but time was limited. I finally got a hold of myself and remembered what was really important, and it wasn’t a perfect bow or gift tag. What’s important is, she has a friend thinking about her and trying to make her day a bit brighter.
Things you might do for a friend with breast cancer or any other illness
• Send handwritten notes
• Make some frozen meals with instructions so they don’t have to cook
• Be there in person
• Make arrangements for babysitting
• Offer to drive to doctor’s appointments
• Send a good movie you think they will like
• Send some good music (next package will be a meditation CD)
• Arrange for housekeeping
Some people shy away and don’t say or do anything because of the fear of doing it wrong. Or, they feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. You can never go wrong with a short little note letting them know you care about them.
Share Your Story
I would love to hear your stories about what someone did for you as you went through chemo that really helped.
I would also love if you would share things you have done for a friend going through this. Together, we can help each other make someone’s life a bit brighter. If you have never left a comment on a blog don’t be shy. Just start typing in the reply box and then hit submit.
Sincerely,
Tamara
Flying Kitten ......... movie medic music mama 
I’m sorry about your friend. You are doing a wonderful think and very practical gifts too. My MIL came through cancer but didn’t need treatment (This is what she told me) and all the others I’ve known with cancer are people through my church whom I pray for through our prayer update link.
Thanks for sharing those tips.
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it very much. We have started the prayers.
Update on the gift for my friend. Well I was kind of wrong about the gift tags not being important.
The first thing my friend mentioned was the gift tags. She loved what they said and was going to save them to look at later when she was feeling down. I can’t even remember exactly what they said. Something to the effect of “think of me giving you a hug as you wrap yourself in this cozy blanket”.
You don’t have to be a great writer or poet. Just write a simple note showing how much you care about the person you are writing to.
Thank you so much Tamara. This helped me when I learned of my friend’s diagnosis with breast cancer today. Thinking of you and your friend too. Where would we be without our friends? Bless them all. x
I’m so happy this post helped you today. I know how hard it is when you find out your friend has cancer. And yes! friends are so very important, especially at times like this. Your friend is lucky she has you. Blessings to you and your friend.
Hi Tamera,
When I started reading about your thoughtful gifts to your friend, I got so emotional. I guess we woman are just made that way. My collegue was recently diagnosed with breast cancer also & after doing the Race for the Cure with her, I wanted to do something more. I fiddle with beads & decided to made her a pair of earrings. I used two pink Swarovski Beads (one for each breasts) that dangle in front of a heart shaped pearl. Like your notes, it’s the personal touch that adds a lot to the thought.
You’re a great friend Tamera. I hope your friend is continuing on the road to recovery.
Ms Jo
I’ve just found out my best friend of 37 years has breast cancer. I feel so helpless as she lives in Canada and I’m in the UK. If only I could help in some practical way. Life can be so hard and sad.
Gail,
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. You are right sometimes life can be so very hard. Blessings to you and your friend.